Even today, two days after the election and just a day after John Kerry’s concession speech, Democrats are already openly speculating about the prospects of a 2008 White House run by Hillary Clinton. While this may confirm in some measure, the conspiracy theorist claim that the Clintons were hoping (and in unseen ways, working against) still-Senator John Kerry’s campaign, it also leads one to wonder what, if anything, the Party of the Ass has learned from the horsewhipping administered to it by the American electorate just 48 hours ago. While I, like most conservatives, celebrated wins in the race for the White House, victories that strengthened House and Senate Republican majorities and still more governor’s offices in the hands of conservatives, I’m an American first. And because of that, I think it’s important that those to the left of center take a long hard look at the lessons American voters wrote in the election results of Nov. 2. It’s important because, while I hold conservative values and policies dear, I believe a weak Democratic party can only lead to a weak Republican party (and, of course, vice versa). After all, good competition benefits all. So, what did the American Electorate tell us Nov. 2?

First, that it places great value on values. George Bush took a clear and certain position on every question or issue that came his way not only during the just-ended campaign, but since the day he took the Oath of Office in January 2001. You may have forgotten, but in the days and weeks preceding 9/11, he took a firm position on stem cell research. While the wreckage of the World Trade Center was still smoldering, he told Americans and the entire world that he would bring the full force of the U.S. military and its resources to bear on the bearded fanatics of the Muslim world. What’s more, he made it plain that states who supported terrorists in any way would be considered enemies of the U.S. No longer would two-bit tyrants in Muslim countries thumb their noses at the U.S. with impunity. Sadaam called Bush’s bluff. Muammar Qaddafi didn’t.

Bush’s other positions were every bit as clear. Bush opposed gay marriage. Bush supported tax cuts. Bush, rightly or wrongly, supported a guest worker program for illegal aliens. Bush supported the use of the PATRIOT act. Bush opposed abortion. All clear, all certain. Kerry, on the other hand, tried to win voters by taking something of every position on nearly every issue. His many flip flops certainly need not be repeated here; we’ve all heard scores of them ad nauseum for the past six months. Kerry had no expressed values, and it cost him the votes of those who wanted to know what they were.

Second, while American voters on the whole, do not bear any ill will toward gay, lesbian, transgendered, cross-dressers, those questioning their orientation, or what have you, they also do not feel they should be forced to place the societal stamp of approval that is marriage on the many lifestyles that make up the confused rainbow of those who choose to identify themselves chiefly by their sexual preferences. In short, you can dress like a Druid and spend your afternoons with transgendered midgets in bath houses, but don’t seek to have society give the same formal acknowledgement to that relationship as it does to traditional marriages, which human society has formally sanctioned for about 5,000 years. Once again, voters supported strongly several measures banning gay marriage. The idea of gay marriage has been pummeled by U.S. voters at every turn. Clearly, further pursuit of this issue only seeks to widen the divide between mainstream Americans and the Bath House Party, which is counter to their stated goals of merely seeking acceptance. You have acceptance, but you’ve no right to expect approval.

Third, put some distance between yourselves and the Michael Moore wing of the Democratic party. Certainly, the pseudo-intelligentsia of the entertainment industry sprained a few elbows clapping one another on the back after the screening of Fahrenheit 9-11, and after screeds by Sean Penn and intellectual heavyweights such as Leonardo DiCrapio, Natalie Maines, Rosie O’Donnell and the rest of the People Magazine crowd. But most Americans don’t buy it, and don’t identify with this bunch. Most Americans can’t afford to vacation regularly in every popular tourist haven on earth. Most can’t afford to have three kids, one by an ex-spouse, another by an ex-boyfriend and third solo, through invitro fertilization. Most Americans can’t completely flop at work one day and wake up to a host of multi-million dollar job offers the next. Jennifer Lopez makes “Gigli,” sees it turn into an utter failure financially and presumably artistically, and then spends months sorting through a series of new movie offers. That’s not the real world. While the lefties loved to listen to the Hollywood crowd snipe at George W. Bush, those of us who recognize the entertainment world and those who populate it as escapist didn’t. We knew better than to confuse this world and the opinions of those who live it in to drive our real world decisions at the polls.

Fourth, look at the map. The election map was truly astounding. Kerry took New England, a traditional strong ground for liberals, and the Left Coast. In between was a sea of red states, dotted only by the leftist bastions of Wisconsin, Minnesota and Illinois (which is dominated by Chicago’s Democratic machine). If the dems want to Hillary to be competitive in 2008, they’d better help her learn what people in the Midwest, the South, the southwest, the north central and the west value and consider priorities. Clearly, apart from the three aforementioned liberal enclaves, the message of the dems was rejected by most of the U.S.

Fifth, don’t count on the media to do your dirty work. Americans could tolerate the liberal bias of the media, until the mainstream media began to act on its urges to influence the election. Dan Rather’s memogate, the overblown coverage of the Abu Graib prisoner hazing, the Missing Explosives controversy and endless other “Bush is screwing up” stories crossed the line. The price was an American electorate that shot back at the press, and more important, a total loss of credibility for the likes of Rather, Brokaw, Jennings, the New York Times, etc.

Sixth, play fair. Reports of plans for rioting in the streets of New York during the GOP convention, stealing Bush Cheney signs, slashing tires on vehicles used by Republican campaign workers, break-ins and vandalism of Republican campaign offices aren’t merely the acts of overenthusiastic campaign workers. These are initial steps on the road to fascism. (Funny how the left likes to hurl that very word at Republicans).

Certainly there’s more, but that’s a good start.

So, to summarize in the tradition of Dana Carvey’s best George H.W. Bush
caricature:

• Take consistent positions.
• Get out of bed with the “LGBT” crowd.
• Stay out of Michael Moore’s bed (there’s no room left anyway).
• Visit Kansas City, Des Moines or Lubbock. When you get there, listen and don’t talk.
• Dan Rather’s going to retire—for good reason.
• Play nice—the ends don’t justify the means.